Why I Want to be Mindy Kaling’s Best Friend

I loved her on The Office. Her book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), is hilarious. The Mindy Project is one of the best shows on TV right now. And I want to be her best friend for the following reasons:

1. She met Clay Matthews. He was a guest on Mindy Project a couple weeks ago. I would love to meet Clay Matthews. Yum.

2. She’s smart. Not only are her tweets super insightful (see below), but she wrote on The Office, wrote a book and now writes her own show – The Mindy Project. She’s just super talented and really humble about it, which is awesome.

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3.She’s sassy. She said this about her own book: “This book will take you two days to read. Did you even see the cover? It’s mostly pink. If you’re reading this book every night for months, something is not right.”

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4. She drinks too much at inappropriate times. This one Tweet told me we would be best friends for life.

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5. She has good taste in men.

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6. She has really cool friends.

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7.  She gives great advice: “Always Wear Flats and Have Your Friends Sleep Over: A Step-by-Step How-To Guide for Avoiding Getting Murdered”

8. She has great taste in music. That wrap party is something I needed to be invited to – Gold Digger is the best Kayne West song.

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9. She likes breakfast sandwiches. Which means she has great taste in food because breakfast sandwiches are delicious.

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10. She’s relate-able. Who doesn’t have a photo like this somewhere hiding in their parents’ house? However, most of us will never have it published on the back of a book.

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11. She’s just so funny. Watch this interview. She’s hilarious.

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How to Feel Happy Right Now: Part 2

Looked outside my window this morning and decided a “Part 2” was necessary….

1. Screaming animals are hilarious.

2. My favorite article on Buzzfeed is 35 Reasons to Have Children. It’s the best. Read it and you will burst out laughing.

3. Feel good story: Many husbands send roses to their wives on special occasions, but one Army officer went a step further by enlisting more than a dozen strangers to help deliver his bouquet.

On his flight home from Afghanistan a week after his 20th anniversary, Scott Hinson enlisted 19 fellow passengers to give his wife a rose as they got off the plane.

Her husband delivered the 20th rose.

4. I challenge you to look at this without smiling…

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5.I know that this video is about 50 years old, but I can’t watch it without smiling at least a little bit.

6. Happy Thought: Snow is a great excuse to curl up on the couch in sweatpants and eat a whole bunch of comfort food – just because! You won’t have this opportunity (without feeling guilty) for at least a couple months…

7. Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are still together. Is it just me or is that super exciting because I expected their relationship to last 5 minutes. I hope they have a baby soon…

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8. DISNEY MUSIC!

9. Actresses Without Teeth.

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10. Lastly, follow this Twitter account: @GhettoHikes

What are you going to do today to make yourself laugh?

Shit My Grandma Says

I love my grandma. She’s the best and totally crazy. She loves tequila, taco dip and playing cards. I love visiting her. I stayed with her this past weekend, and, immediately after I walked into the door, she told me to “get the blender out!” We made margaritas and taco dip – ate and drank all of it before like 3 p.m. Here are some of my favorite one-liners from my favorite 81 year old…

I talk to myself in German all the time and just think “how did they come up with this stupid sounding language.”

Germans are fat and greedy.

Hide the tequila. We don’t need nosy women yapping about my margarita consumption “problem”

Drinking dulls your brain.

What’s the tweeter and why do people care what we’re doing.

If you complain enough you’ll eventually get what you want.

I don’t read. I watch the tube. Reading is worthless. So is arithmetic.

I gave up chocolate for lent, but sometimes you just have to make a pan of brownies and eat the rest of the raw batter.

I don’t like SNL. Especially when they make fun of presidents. Don’t they have enough problems.

I prefer just pouring a glass of vodka and ice to going anywhere for happy hour.

Life is hard. Been there, done that.

“I won the first two games of cards! And now I can’t win” – Me. “The Early Bean Freezes!” – Grandma

Random screams in German while losing at cards.