Why Wedding Showers are the Worst

Champagne Glasses and Wedding Cake

I will never understand the concept of a wedding shower. You have an engagement party, you have a bachelorette party, you have the actual wedding – why must you throw another event in there? It’s just one more thing we have to buy a present for (or in my case, fork out cash because I’m classy and too lazy to look at the registry).

Basically it is a few hours out of your day that are spent awkwardly – and for the most part sober – with “grown-up” ladies we may or may not know. No one wants that. And you know what else no one wants? The “who’s next?” conversation that will inevitably come up. Yes, I know I’m single. Yes, I know my younger cousins/friends/sisters are closer to marriage than me. Yes I know it’s about time I settle down. Please, continue to remind me of all these things. And the worst part? I’m fine being single and 25. But try explaining that to the bride’s grandma…

And the games. Oh the games. Must we really force a group of acquaintances together to play awkward games, like making wedding dresses out of toilet paper, or answering questions like “what was the couple’s third date?” Let’s just skip that part and move straight to cake.

Which brings me to the only redeeming quality bridal showers have – the free delicious snacks and desserts. Unless it’s a potluck, then you’re screwed.

Happy wedding season!

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25

25

By: Me. A 25-year-old.

It feels like a perfect night to dress up in sweatpants
Drink too much wine and send stupid texts, ah ah, ah ah.
It feels like a perfect night for a Taco Bell at midnight
Go to the bar and annoy strangers, ah ah, ah ah.

Yeah,
We’re drunk, broke, tired and wired at the same time
It’s hilarious and a little pathetic, oh, yeah
Tonight’s the night when we forget, well, everything…
It’s time.

Uh oh!
I don’t know about you
But I’m feeling 25
Everything will be alright
But I don’t know if I’ll survive
You don’t know about me
But I’ll tell you even if you don’t want to
Everything will be alright
If we just keep dancing like we’re
25
25

It seems like one of those nights,
This place is too crowded.
Too many young kids, ah ah, ah ah
It seems like one of those nights,
We ditch the whole scene and end up drinking
Too much before midnight.

Yeah,
We’re drunk, broke, tired and wired at the same time
It’s hilarious and a little pathetic, oh, yeah
Tonight’s the night when we forget about our age
It’s time

Uh oh!
I don’t know about you
But I’m feeling 25
Everything will be alright
But I don’t know if I’ll survive
You don’t know about me
But I’ll bet you want to
Everything will be alright (alright)
If we just keep dancing like we’re
25
25
I don’t know about you
25
25

It feels like one of those nights,
We ditch the whole scene.
It feels like one of those nights,
We will be sleeping.
It feels like one of those nights,
You look like bad news,
Tequila, I gotta have you,
Jager or Vodka, too.

Oh oh yeah hey!
I don’t know about you
But I’m feeling 25
Everything will be alright
But I don’t know if I’ll survive
You don’t know about me
But I’ll tell you even if you don’t want to
Everything will be alright
If we just keep dancing like we’re
25
25
25, yeah, yeah
25, yeah, yeah, yeah

Spring Bucket List

Ok – I don’t know if it’s just me, but winter is really cramping my style this year. I feel like I’m in a funk because of this cold, shitty weather. To get out of the funk and celebrate the first day of spring, I am writing a Springtime bucket list…

1. Plan a trip – I have to get out of Minnesota. I don’t care if the trip isn’t until this fall, I need to have a trip to look forward to this year.

Screen Shot 2013-03-20 at 5.12.17 PM

2. Finish my Apartment – I have lived in an apartment since October that still has boxes laying around and framed photos on the floor waiting to be hung up. The apartment has to be completely put together this spring.

3. Enjoy an Outdoor Concert – So this is cheating because I already have tickets to see Kenny Chesney & Eric Church at Miller Park, but I still think it’s a good bucket list item.

4. Finish All My Scrapbooks – Apparently I’m 80 years old and I love to scrapbook. I have about 4 scrapbooks that are missing 2-3 pages. These need to be finished by summer.

5. Plant an Herb Garden – I have a porch! And I love herbs. So I want to plant an herb garden. Duh.Screen Shot 2013-03-20 at 5.11.49 PM

6. Participate in One Sunday-Funday Beach Day – My favorite part of college was going to Lake Calhoun in the summer on Sunday and just drinking and playing games. I’ve missed that! So – if weather permits – this needs to happen.

7. Go See a Drive-In Movie – I’ve always wanted to go to a drive-in movie. This could be my year, guys.

8. Host a Dinner Party – I love to cook. I cook for my friends all the time, but sometimes it’s fun to get fancy.

Screen Shot 2013-03-20 at 5.11.10 PM

9. Go on a Day Long Bike Trip – I’ve been going to cycling class fairly regularly for the past six months. Hopefully I’ll be ready for a day long bike trip by the time it’s nicer outside!

10. Run a 5k – I know. I know. It sounds really lame, but I hate to run. I’ve done three 5ks, but always had to walk after like two miles. Before summer, I will run all 3.1 miles!

First day of summer is June 21, so check back with me at that time…

The Men of March Madness

With tournament time just a few days away we thought it would be appropriate to provide you with some of the eye candy you should look out for this March Madness season:

Luke Hancock (Louisville)

Luke Hancock

Trey McKinney Jones (Miami)

Trey McKinney Jones

Steven Pledger (Oklahoma)

Steven Pledger

Aaron Craft (Ohio State)

Aaron Craft

Jamaal Franklin (San Diego State)

Jamaal Franklin

Katin Reinhardt (UNLV)

Katin Reinhardt

Rodney Williams (Minnesota)

Rodney Williams

Rob Loe (St. Louis)

Rob Loe

David Hinton (VCU)

David Hinton

Keith Appling (Michigan State)

Keith Appling

Justin Cobbs (Cal)

Cal Men's Basketball

Stupid S#*t You Do When You Drink All Weekend

  • You order shots at happy hour (and then drunkenly blog about it)
  • You make Subway employees hate their job, and you
  • You play Buck Hunter. A lot.
  • You perform a taste-test between the Nacho Cheese and Cooler Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos
  • You call everyone and their mother in your phone until one finally answers
  • You force temporary tattoos on people’s faces at the bar
  • You take several Irish Car Bombs
  • You Instagram. A lot.
  • You play 4-player games of darts with one other person
  • You set up personal training sessions
  • You attempt to make meringue cookies at 1 a.m. and fail terribly
  • You show up to a 10 a.m. coffee meeting still drunk with face tattoos
  • You dance. A lot.
  • You have heart-to-hearts with anyone who will listen
  • You take over $100 out of your bank account at the bar ATM and have no idea what you spent it on
  • You cry at the bar for no reason
  • You ruin your “diet” by eating hungover food like french fries, onion rings, burgers and chicken tenders
  • You offer to pay a $60 cab fare because all you want to do is be in bed after drinking for 12 hours straight
  • You wake up, feel hungover but power through and keep drinking

8 Reasons St. Patrick’s Day is Awesome

Growing up, my mom made St. Patrick’s Day a big deal in our house. Even though we aren’t one drop Irish she went all out – forcing us to eat corned beef and cabbage, making us green 7up and giving us little gifts. So you can see why I grew up loving this holiday. Here are my top eight reasons why St Patty’s Day is one of the best days of the year.

The Color Green – There are infinite shades of green so this color looks good on everyone. And for someone with red hair like me, all of the shades look amazing.

Shamrock Shakes – This glorious snack is only available during the St Patty’s day season and I will never understand why. EVERYONE LOVES THEM. And if you don’t love them, you’re crazy. Maybe it’s the limited availability, the minty goodness or that it gives you an excuse to go to McDonald’s every week – for whatever reason, Shamrock Shakes rock and you can’t argue with that.

Nail Decals – Shamrocks are probably the cutest shape ever. And you know what makes them cuter? When they are mini and on your nails, obviously.

Food – Potatoes are one of my favorite foods and nothing is more Irish than a potato (besides cabbage maybe, which is just gross). You can use this holiday as an excuse to eat potatoes all day. Baked potatoes, breakfast potatoes, green mashed potatoes…the list goes on and on.

Green Beer – Enough said.

Themed Socks – Step in to any general store and you are bound to find dozens of shamrock printed socks in all sorts of patterns. My mom is a huge fan of St Patrick’s Day socks, so you can bet I get a new pair every year – and for that I will be forever grateful.

Face Tattoos – See explanation for “nail decals.”

PARTIES – Every Irish wannabe uses St Patrick’s Day as an excuse to  start drinking at 9 a.m. and not come home until the wee hours of the morning. Need I say more on why this is the best day ever?

And here’s my obligatory warning – stay safe this weekend, kids. Don’t drive drunk. Don’t get roofied. And don’t do a power hour with one other person in the corner halfway through day drinking, or you’ll end up like this hot mess below:

shamrocks