Let’s be honest, no one really likes working out. It is called “working” for a reason. It’s not fun. Plain and simple. However, to try and make it more fun a few of us got memberships at the same gym. But here’s the thing. As struggling 20-somethings, we aren’t rolling in the dough quite yet. So we’ve opted for one of the cheapest gyms out there (which will remain nameless to protect the privacy of the people listed below).
Recently we took a class with an instructor none of us had ever heard of before. WARNING: NEVER DO THIS. Ten minutes into the class we all regretted being there. It was a circus. So I decided to create a cast list of the people we encountered during our workout class in the twilight zone.
“Mr. Love Muscle”Our instructor was a 50-year-old Richard Simmons wannabe. Not only did he make uncomfortable gestures and references throughout the hour long class, but he told us the story TWICE about “working his love muscle.” I’ll leave it at that.
“Armpit Hair Woman”Front and center was an interesting woman wearing a wife beater with longer armpit hair than Hulk Hogan. Thank god we stayed far away from her. I’m sure that would have been an interesting smell.
“Butt Crack Man”Right in front of us was a man well into his 60s who couldn’t control his BO. Not only did he smell bad, but his butt crack played peekaboo as Mr. Love Muscle made us do squats repeatedly throughout the class. Not cute.
Moral of the story, scout out your instructors and class attendees before committing to an hour with these people. If you’re not careful, you will be scarred for life. Have you encountered interesting characters at the gym? If so, please share! We’d love to hear that we aren’t the only people who judge others while working out…
In the Twin Cities, there are hundreds of options for happy hour. If you’re anything like us, you’ve had to answer the tough question: Where do you want to go to happy hour?
Easy answer: Check on thrifty hipster. The awesome website, turned iPhone app, uses your location and the time to give you a list of potential happy hour locations with the best deals.
Based on my location today, I’m given a list of great bars and restaurants nearby that have happy hour deals going on. All these bars – Wakame Sushi, Burger Jones, Toby Keith’s and Cooper’s – are great, and I’m sure I – and my wallet – would be happy going to any of them.
In addition, there is a tab for Taxis & Rides so, when you drink too much at happy hour, you have a handy list of available rides home so you’re not stranded or – more importantly – don’t be a dumb ass and drink and drive.
Note: don’t leave your wallet or purse in the cab. It’s a pain to get a new license, cancel credit cards, get new credits cards and get your pride back.
Anyone else have a collection of really random photos on their phone, but you can’t bring yourself to delete them?
Here are some of mine…
1. This picture doesn’t even look good. However, I’m saving the photo so I can savor the memory of how delicious this yummy app tasted. If you ever find yourself in Scottsdale, do yourself a favor and go to Culinary Dropout and order the pretzels & cheese fondue!
2. I take photos of dresses that cost more than $30 and send them to my mom or sister asking if they like it before I buy it. Do I check with them before I rack up a $50 bar tab on a Saturday night? Of course not. It doesn’t make sense, but I do it. Please ignore the stupid look on my face and my white, white legs – a spray tan is super necessary before I wear this dress in public.
3. White Eagle Vodka is disgusting. Never buy it. So how did I end up with a bottle of this disgusting liquor? By winning a bet about The Voice and correctly predicting that my girl Cassadee would win! Lesson to you all: Any free booze tastes better than paid-for booze.
4. Salem, my sister’s cat, hates car rides! Hates. Hates. Hates. She turns completely demonic when you put her in any vehicle. You can see the lasers coming out of her eyes in this photo, and it’s hilarious. Pretty sure she’s only cuddling up to the bf because he’s wearing black and looks like he could be her mama.
5. Took a screen grab of our blog stats to send to the other girls because we officially went international with a view from the UK a couple weeks ago – woohoo!
6. Selfie with a Care Bear. At the Bar. Definitely a low-point in my life.
7. Who isn’t a little bit happier after seeing this creepy photo? Why haven’t I deleted this…
I know, I know. I am not Pretty Little Liars’ target demographic. I am a “mature, 25-year-old woman,” which means I should have graduated from ABC Family to PBS or the BBC or something… but, ABC Family, I can’t quit you.
However, I do have a few complaints about the latest PLL episodes…
Spoiler Alert! Don’t read on unless you’ve watched the latest episode.
1. Spencer is annoying. Just tell the girls that Toby is helping A – please! Every episode preview has made it seem like she was going to tell the girls during the next week, but she doesn’t. I can’t deal with pathetic Spencer.
2. Hannah’s mom is stupid. Please go turn yourself in for hitting Wilden – a cop – with your car. Don’t just got pick up your high school-aged daughter and bring her to the crime scene. Go to the police station. Duh.
3. Aria needs to end it with Fitz. Mama Fitz comes back on Monday and tries to ruin things again, but actually makes sense. Does Aria really think that Fitz will have time for her now that he has a son? And, p.s., she’s still in high school.
4. Hellooooo – the girl in the red coat looks exactly like CeCe, but – yes – let’s have our first guess be that it’s your dead friend Alison. The girl could also totally be Melissa in a wig and red coat.
5. Wren should probably go away. He was engaged to Melissa, made out with Spencer – Melissa’s sister, made out with Hanna and is now back with Spencer? Go away, Wren. Even though he’s super cute.
Will I stop watching PLL? Of course not. Just need a good vent!
Time for another installment of Sarah’s favorite things…
Crock Pots: There are so many delicious things that can be made in a crock pot. Throw chicken in before work with some salsa, tomatoes and peppers, and you have chicken tacos when you get home from work. Or take a pork loin and add some barbecue sauce, and pulled pork sandwiches are ready as soon as you step in the door. Also, how good does your apartment/house smells after having the crock pot going all day!
T.V.: TV is so good right now, you guys.
Some of my favorites are Carrie Dairies, Pretty Little Liars, Modern Family, Lying Game, Criminal Minds, Nashville, Revenge, The Mindy Project, Scandal and New Girl.
That doesn’t even include the shows I want to start from episode 1: Parenthood, Parks & Rec, Girls, Homeland and Mad Men.
Someone get me a life. Fast.
Brunch: There’s really nothing better than brunch. Here’s a list of my top 4 brunch spots in Uptown Minneapolis –
Uptown Diner: If you don’t care about missing out on Bloody Marys or Screw Drivers, this is definitely the place to be. My favorites include the Caprese Benedict or Gyro Omelet.
Lyndale Tap House: Free mimosa with any breakfast!
Gigi’s Cafe: The outdoor seating is the perfect atmosphere for summer brunch. Try the iced tea with quiche or a breakfast sandwich.
Bar Abeline: I feel like I can’t even really call it one of my favorites because I’ve only gone twice, but they have $3 bottomless mimosas from 10 a.m. – 2 p.m.!
Going out for sushi is super trendy! And you don’t want to be left out, you guys. If you don’t like fish or have never tried it before, sushi can be a little intimidating. But no worries! The girls at Awkward Vodka have come to the rescue. Here are the basics you should know about the fishy food and some tips & tricks for fooling people into thinking you’re a sushi lover.
1. Tempura: Means fried! If you like unhealthy, fried goodness, order anything with the word tempura in it.
2. California Roll: Delicious avocado, cucumber and imitation crab. IMITATION! Not real! Eat it.
3. Philly: When they say Philly, they mean cream cheese. Can you say “Yummy”?!? If you love cream cheese, it doesn’t matter if it’s mixed in with salmon or eel, you’ll love it.
4. When in doubt, order the veggie roll. You won’t have to deal with any disgusting fish. Everyone wins.
Side Note: If you like things hot and spicy, order any type of sushi and top it off with the green paste that comes served on the side (it’s called wasabi and it’s a lifesaver). You won’t be able to taste anything besides the horseradishy/hot mustard spice so you’re safe. And an added bonus – if you do this while battling a cold, like most of us are this time of year, your sinuses and tear ducts will most definitely be clear by the time you finish just three wasabi-loaded pieces.
There you have it folks, fake it ’til you make it! You don’t even have to use chopsticks. People will think you’re a pro.
A Rodge was his natural charming self on Twitter earlier today, making millions of girls swoon across the Midwest: “Happy made up holiday day tweeps! Ladies you deserve more than one day a year to feel extra loved and special, as it is, have a great day!”