1. You bring a flask to the bar. Or better yet, a “water” bottle.
2. You don’t learn from your mistakes. Your life is a constant pattern of going out and drinking too much, being extremely hungover, swearing you’ll never drink again and then repeating the next weekend – or the next night.
3. Saturdays and weeknights consist in TV binging. You watch the whole first season and 15 episodes of the second season of Scandal in one week.
4. You have tank tops, sweaters, pants with holes in them. You then refuse to buy a new $12 tank top because you’re “broke,” but you still spend over $50 on drinks on a random Sunday afternoon. That’s enough for about 10 hole-free tank tops…
5. You buy the same exact things at the grocery store each month because you know what you like, are cheap, and are too afraid to experiment (especially if you are only cooking for 1).
6. You get a haircut once a year and visit the dentist every other. You have better things to spend your time and money on, like buying a new dress or a case of wine.
7. You don’t own a library card and have no intention to get one anytime soon, let alone be able to tell a stranger where the nearest library is.
8. It’s embarrassing how much celebrity gossip you know in comparison to what is actually going on in the world.
9. You still get a $20 bill from your grandma on very important holidays like Halloween, Valentine’s Day and Easter.
10. That $20 bill doesn’t go towards your student loans, but instead towards the expensive kind of beer for the weekend – Miller Lite.
I will never understand why single girls dread Valentine’s Day. I love it. Pink and sparkly are two of the best things in life, and that’s what this day is basically all about. You have an excuse to dress girly, eat candy and drink a lot of booze – boyfriend or not. How can you hate that? So here’s my single girl’s guide to enjoying Valentine’s Day, Ray Ray style.
Wear a cute (or cheesy) outfit. Today you can girl-it-up and no one can make fun of you for it. Seriously, go all out. Wear pink, red, sequins, hearts…all of the above… Really, anything your girly heart desires is fair game on this holiday.
Own the fact you’re single. A shirt like this says it all:
Two words – Nail Polish. Take the time to do your nails special for the day. It’s a surefire way to wake up happy when your hands look like this:
Eat an obscene amount of Conversation Hearts. This is the only time of year you can buy the best candy ever made. So enjoy it and have two boxes. Or give them to me. Either way.
Accessorize. What better day than Valentine’s Day to carry this around with you everywhere you go?
Drink pink champagne. You never need an excuse to pop bottles and for Valentine’s Day you are kind of obligated to do so – so this one is obvious. Grab a fancy glass and let loose.
Make heart-shaped food. Valentine’s Day is a perfect reason to make yourself themed food, which will in turn make you happy. Put together a special lunch, breakfast or dinner (or go crazy and do all three) with heart-shaped and red/pink-colored foods. How can you not have fun with a lunch that looks like this!
So if you are one of those single girls still sippin on a big glass of Valentine’s Day haterade, trust me – the holiday doesn’t have to be miserable. Take some of these notes and you will spend the day looking through rose-tinted glasses. Literally. See what I did there? Hahaha…