weekend – awkward vodka

Power Hour Tips

Power Hour: A drinking game that means taking a shot of beer every minute for one hour which, using math, means drinking 5 beers in an hour. – Urban Dictionary

With yet another national holiday weekend upon us, we have a feeling a few of you might already be planning your weekend. Since we hope some of your plans include drinking, we’d like to share a few tips if that drinking happens to be a power hour (one of Awkward Vodka’s favorite past times).

Download an app. One way to ensure you complete the power hour on time and not miss a single shot is by downloading an app. You don’t have to worry about changing the music every minute or yelling at your friends to drink – the app will automatically switch the music, queuing your time to drink. GENIUS. We recommend Power!Hour, the best $.99 you’ll ever spend.

Do not, I repeat, do not attempt a power hour with hard liquor. While it may be tempting, do not use hard liquor as your drink of choice. That means 60 shots in 60 minutes. You most likely will die. We here at Awkward Vodka do not endorse this and definitely do not want to be blamed for death or alcohol poisoning. And I know what you’re thinking, mixed drinks aren’t that bad! Trust me, they are. You will either be passed out, puking or black out by halftime.

Always have an extra drink nearby. There is nothing worse than having to search for a beer when one runs out, especially if that means getting behind.

Make sure the beer is cold. I take it back – the one thing worse than having an empty drink is warm beer. You go through them fast in a group during a power hour, so make sure you have enough chilling for hours before you begin.

Music is key. During the power hour you can go through 60 different songs of your choice. And if you use the app we mentioned above, they all come right from your iTunes. Can you say best dance party ever? I guarantee you’ll hear, “I LOVE THIS SONG!” screamed at least 20 times.

Don’t double time. Just don’t do it.

With these tips we hope you can enjoy one perfect power hour this three-day weekend. But what about you? What other tips/recommendations do you have when it comes to power hours? We want to hear them!

Cowboy Slims, RIP

One of our favorite places of all time is now closed. Cue the tears. So it’s about time we honor beloved Cowboy Slims by describing our top 5 favorite things about the sacred place, complete with pictures to illustrate the amazing times we had.

1. Sunday Funday

One of Cowboy Slim’s most redeeming qualities was its patio. The patio made this the perfect place for day drinking, especially on a Sunday when the liquor stores are closed. We had many a Sunday Funday at the bar which in turn, left us with many Sunday Funday memories. Some include going there to drink on Easter, because, why not? Changing outfits with S in the bathroom, because, why not? Handing out my business cards to strangers in an attempt to get more Twitter followers, because, why not?

2. Holidays

No matter what the holiday, you could usually find us at Cowboy Slims at some point in the day. Case and point: Easter (see above). But most holidays we liked to celebrate at Slims were themed. This was because people there didn’t judge you for showing up in a huge Kentucky Derby hat (Cinco de Mayo/Derby Day), gorilla masks with alien and statue of liberty costumes (Halloween), shamrock shorts, glow sticks and temporary tattoos (St. Patrick’s Day). If anything, these crazy costumes made us the most popular people there. Or at least that’s what drunk me likes to remember…

3. Celeb sightings

Okay, so maybe the word celeb is a stretch here – but it never stopped me from stalking one of my favorite basketball players of all time. This is probably my most memorable, and most missed, part about Cowboy Slims. He would often show up, looking as handsome as ever, and I could spend hours (or at least three drinks) creepily staring at him from afar. The best was when he would bring his other bball buddies – the more eye candy the better. Okay, so you can’t see him in this pic, but he was right behind our booth out by the bonfire this night. Trust me.

4. Food

OH MY GOD THE FOOD. Queso dip. Fish tacos. Tots. BRUNCH. Need I say more? The food here was amazing and we will never be able to find a place that has all this greasy deliciousness all day every day. RIP. Sorry, we aren’t those kind of people who take pictures of food, so the one below will have to do. Madam Zora knows all – especially how good the food was.

5. Shots

Whisky shots, tequila shots, multiple rounds of cherry bombs with mom (not to mention her continuously sending K up to the bar with her credit card to keep ’em coming) – shots were a staple for any day or night at Slims. Once again, no one here judged you for taking three different kinds in one night. Or taking a tequila shot at 2 p.m. Or getting bombed with your mom off shots after a 5K, still wearing glow sticks and neon yellow t-shirts. Cowboy Slims was our favorite place to take shots, and now it’s no more.

However, not everything about this place was perfect. There is one thing that stands out from everything else that could ruin a super fun night at Slims in a moment: BITCHES IN THE BATHROOM. God, they were the worst.

Happy Weekend!

Be Safe. Make Good Choices.

Stupid S#*t You Do When You Drink All Weekend

You order shots at happy hour (and then drunkenly blog about it)

You make Subway employees hate their job, and you

You play Buck Hunter. A lot.

You perform a taste-test between the Nacho Cheese and Cooler Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos

You call everyone and their mother in your phone until one finally answers

You force temporary tattoos on people’s faces at the bar

You take several Irish Car Bombs

You Instagram. A lot.

You play 4-player games of darts with one other person

You set up personal training sessions

You attempt to make meringue cookies at 1 a.m. and fail terribly

You show up to a 10 a.m. coffee meeting still drunk with face tattoos

You dance. A lot.

You have heart-to-hearts with anyone who will listen

You take over $100 out of your bank account at the bar ATM and have no idea what you spent it on

You cry at the bar for no reason

You ruin your “diet” by eating hungover food like french fries, onion rings, burgers and chicken tenders

You offer to pay a $60 cab fare because all you want to do is be in bed after drinking for 12 hours straight

You wake up, feel hungover but power through and keep drinking

“The iPod Game”

I love drinking games. Well I love games in general, so turning non-drinking games into drinking games is a favorite past time of mine.

If you’re looking for a chill night out, don’t play this game. It’s been known to cause people to pass out, pants-less, before 10 p.m. (you’re welcome, you-know-who).

iPod Game Rules

Turn your iPod on shuffle. This works best with an iPod full of random music – lots of different genres.

Once your iPod is ready, the first person makes a rule. Here are some examples:

If the next song is sang by a girl, all the girls take a drink
If the next song is country music, everyone who likes country has to take a drink
If you know all the words to the next song, give out a drink
If you danced to the next song at a high school dance, take a drink
If the next song has a word in a foreign language in the title, everyone who has been out of the country, take a drink
If you’ve seen the next band live, take a drink

Now, these are all fun and great, but when you drink a little too much, you start making rules like this:

If the next song has words, [Call-Out Individual Friend] takes a shot
If the next band has ever sang live, everyone takes shots

As you can see, this game will start a drunk fast. I warn you – if you want all your friends to make it out, don’t play this game. However, if you’re looking for a fun, drunk time, play on!

If you’re competitive and need to know who’s the winner, play this game. It’ll be fairly obvious at the end who is the winner and who loses.

*Also works with iTunes on a computer if you trust your computer around your drunk friends.

An Open Letter to Day Drinking

Dear Day Drinking,

Why do you tempt me every weekend day I have no plans? Just because I don’t have something scheduled, doesn’t mean my time wouldn’t be better spent doing laundry, going grocery shopping, working out or cleaning my apartment. I could even do something fun like shopping or TV binging, but no – day drinking always wins.

The only thing worse than the guilt you come with is the eating. Why do you make me crave taco bell, pizza, McDonalds, bags of chips, popcorn, ice cream, etc.? Day drinking, I gave up pizza for Lent. Do you know what you made me do? Eat pizza.

I’m 25 years old. On Saturday mornings, my Facebook should be full of nothing. Or posts about being pregnant or getting married, but no, it’s full of evidence of you, Day Drinking. You. What self-respecting 25-year-old woman posts this on her Facebook page on a Saturday morning:

So, Day Drinking, stop being such a tease. Leave me alone – get out of my life.

Why can’t I quit you?

Love Always,

Me ❤

Signs You Are a Struggling 20-Something

1. You bring a flask to the bar. Or better yet, a “water” bottle.

2. You don’t learn from your mistakes. Your life is a constant pattern of going out and drinking too much, being extremely hungover, swearing you’ll never drink again and then repeating the next weekend – or the next night.

3. Saturdays and weeknights consist in TV binging. You watch the whole first season and 15 episodes of the second season of Scandal in one week.

4. You have tank tops, sweaters, pants with holes in them. You then refuse to buy a new $12 tank top because you’re “broke,” but you still spend over $50 on drinks on a random Sunday afternoon. That’s enough for about 10 hole-free tank tops…

5. You buy the same exact things at the grocery store each month because you know what you like, are cheap, and are too afraid to experiment (especially if you are only cooking for 1).

6. You get a haircut once a year and visit the dentist every other. You have better things to spend your time and money on, like buying a new dress or a case of wine.

7. You don’t own a library card and have no intention to get one anytime soon, let alone be able to tell a stranger where the nearest library is.

8. It’s embarrassing how much celebrity gossip you know in comparison to what is actually going on in the world.

9. You still get a $20 bill from your grandma on very important holidays like Halloween, Valentine’s Day and Easter.

10. That $20 bill doesn’t go towards your student loans, but instead towards the expensive kind of beer for the weekend – Miller Lite.

Mixology Test #2: Skinny Margs

Yes. This post is about tequila and not vodka, but every liquor-drinking lady loves herself some tequila on a crazy Friday night – or low-key Saturday afternoon…

Like we’ve said before, when you drink as much as we do, you have to be careful about your calorie intake. Unfortunately for us, margaritas are one of the worst drinks for you. There are a variety of different types of low-cal margs out there, but who wants to pay $20 for a tiny bottle of low-cal margs when you could just make them yourself? (Not to mention, you’ll have tequila left over for shots!)

We made our skinny margs with tequila, club soda and lime juice…

1 part tequila
2 parts club soda
1/3 part lime juice

This tastes just like a margarita! I was pleasantly surprised, mostly because I know tequila tastes disgusting with my old stand-by Diet Coke – yup, I’ve tried it.

Note: Turns out a whole shot of lime juice is disgusting. Don’t put a whole shot in your drink because you’ll definitely be wasting tequila.

“I LOVE TEQUILA” – Ray Ray

Strugglefest Sunday

Here we are again, Sunday morning. I have a love/hate relationship with you. All I want to do is keep drinking but the thought of alcohol makes me want to vomit. Anyone else feel the same way?

Because my life is such joke here’s what I’ve been up to this morning: Watched Say Yes To The Dress Bridesmaids, ate a bag of popcorn, almost threw up, woke up at S’s place (not shocking), watched the Nick and Jess kiss three times, researched hot guys on the internet, drunk dialed my friends and talked to the only one that answered, watched Sarah clean the kitchen, made a business plan to open a cat cafe in the states, made Sarah do my laundry and the best part – opened another beer.

Sunday funday, long hair don’t care, SUPER BOWL BEYONCE, livin’ the dream.Waking up still drunk is a curse and a blessing.

BTW did you notice there are two posts today? That is a productive Sunday. Everything is downhill from here.

Sunday Shameday

Sunday nights are the worst. I want to write a post about all the shame you feel after a weekend full of drinking. But I’m too exhausted from the weekend full of drinking to actually think through a blog post. Life is hard. So stay tuned until later this week when I have more energy and regain some of the brain cells I lost. Thank you, alcohol.