10 Reasons to Date a Girl from Wisconsin

1. We know how to drink. Beer. Whiskey. Vodka. You name it. We drink it. And we know how to handle our booze so you don’t need to take care of us after a night of binging.

2. We love sports. And know enough to actually talk about what’s happening during a game. GO PACKERS!

3. We’re hilarious. See any other post on Awkward Vodka.

4. We’re typically low maintenance. Yes, we like to look good, but we also enjoy going to the bar in just a t-shirt and jeans. Have we ever been to a bar in sweatpants? You bet we have.

5. We’ve accumulated to the cold weather. And know how to dress for the cold so we’ll never need to steal your jacket.

6. We’re Tough. See above about the cold. Also most of us know how to change a tire, shovel a car out of the snow and get out of – or start – a bar fight.

7. We’re Smart. At least most of us are smart! Check out this list of the smartest cities in the country. Madison is #8, Appleton is #12 and Milwaukee is #26. Not bad! Minnesota doesn’t even show up on the list under #33 and it says “Minneapolis-St. Paul-Bloomington, MN-WI

8. We’re Not Afraid to Get Dirty. We’re not prissy since we either grew up on a farm or have been on one at some point in our life.

9. No Need to Wine & Dine. Obviously we love a nice dinner every now & then, but usually we’ll be just as happy with a delicious meal at Culvers as we are with a fancy dinner.

10. We Accept Hunting & Fishing. We’re okay with our guy leaving for a week to go hunting with friends, we’ll craft shop and scrapbook while they’re gone.

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Why Wedding Showers are the Worst

Champagne Glasses and Wedding Cake

I will never understand the concept of a wedding shower. You have an engagement party, you have a bachelorette party, you have the actual wedding – why must you throw another event in there? It’s just one more thing we have to buy a present for (or in my case, fork out cash because I’m classy and too lazy to look at the registry).

Basically it is a few hours out of your day that are spent awkwardly – and for the most part sober – with “grown-up” ladies we may or may not know. No one wants that. And you know what else no one wants? The “who’s next?” conversation that will inevitably come up. Yes, I know I’m single. Yes, I know my younger cousins/friends/sisters are closer to marriage than me. Yes I know it’s about time I settle down. Please, continue to remind me of all these things. And the worst part? I’m fine being single and 25. But try explaining that to the bride’s grandma…

And the games. Oh the games. Must we really force a group of acquaintances together to play awkward games, like making wedding dresses out of toilet paper, or answering questions like “what was the couple’s third date?” Let’s just skip that part and move straight to cake.

Which brings me to the only redeeming quality bridal showers have – the free delicious snacks and desserts. Unless it’s a potluck, then you’re screwed.

Happy wedding season!

The Single Girl’s Guide to Valentine’s Day

I will never understand why single girls dread Valentine’s Day. I love it. Pink and sparkly are two of the best things in life, and that’s what this day is basically all about. You have an excuse to dress girly, eat candy and drink a lot of booze – boyfriend or not. How can you hate that? So here’s my single girl’s guide to enjoying Valentine’s Day, Ray Ray style.

Wear a cute (or cheesy) outfit. Today you can girl-it-up and no one can make fun of you for it. Seriously, go all out. Wear pink, red, sequins, hearts…all of the above… Really, anything your girly heart desires is fair game on this holiday.

Heart tights

Own the fact you’re single. A shirt like this says it all:

Vodka is my valentine

Two words – Nail Polish. Take the time to do your nails special for the day. It’s a surefire way to wake up happy when your hands look like this:

Pink Nails

Eat an obscene amount of Conversation Hearts. This is the only time of year you can buy the best candy ever made. So enjoy it and have two boxes. Or give them to me. Either way.

Conversation Hearts

Accessorize. What better day than Valentine’s Day to carry this around with you everywhere you go?

Pink Flask

Drink pink champagne. You never need an excuse to pop bottles and for Valentine’s Day you are kind of obligated to do so – so this one is obvious. Grab a fancy glass and let loose.

pink champage

Make heart-shaped food. Valentine’s Day is a perfect reason to make yourself themed food, which will in turn make you happy. Put together a special lunch, breakfast or dinner (or go crazy and do all three) with heart-shaped and red/pink-colored foods. How can you not have fun with a lunch that looks like this!

Heart Shaped Lunch

So if you are one of those single girls still sippin on a big glass of Valentine’s Day haterade, trust me – the holiday doesn’t have to be miserable. Take some of these notes and you will spend the day looking through rose-tinted glasses. Literally. See what I did there? Hahaha…