drinking – Page 2 – awkward vodka

Ten Commandments for Day Drinking

With Memorial Day coming up this Monday, we thought it would be appropriate to outline rules for day drinking…assuming most of our readers will be doing just that on Sunday and/or Monday.

1. Thou shalt not skip meals. You most definitely don’t want to be the first person to pass out. Eating a balanced meal before beginning to drink is key.

2. Drink water. Don’t fight it. You want to make it all day? Drink water early and often.

3. Thou shalt not visit the ATM. Set aside bar money before you start drinking. Otherwise you’ll end up regretting the unnecessary $300 withdraw the next morning.

4. Thou shalt not take shots. Unless you want to blackout, these are completely uncalled for while drinking all day.

5. Dress appropriately. Two words of advice when picking out your outfit for the day – drinking room.

6. Thou shalt not mix alcohols. If you do, it will not end well.

7. Charge thy phone. You don’t want to be stranded at the end of the night with a dead phone. Trust me.

8. Keep thy wallet/phone/money/ID on you at all times. When drinking all day, it is very easy to lose track of these items. Be sure to keep them in a clutch, purse or pocket.

9. Thou salt not take a nap. YOU WILL NEVER WAKE UP. Well at least in time to continue drinking. And if you do, you’ll be crabby and no one will want you around.

10. Thou shalt not bring additional alcohol to the bar. You will be drinking enough all day, and as much as your drunk self might disagree, it is not a good idea to go to the bathroom and take pulls from your secret stash at any point in the day.

SUMMERTIME! It’s Finally Here…

Each year I seem to have one great weekend – spent mostly outdoors – that just tells me that summer is here. This year I didn’t think it would ever happen, but it finally did!

On Saturday I was in Milwaukee to see Eric Church and Kenny Chesney in concert at Miller Park. Nothing screams summer like country music, drinking outside, tailgating and baseball (stadiums).

We arrived in Milwaukee early on Saturday morning, drank a bunch ‘o Vodka at the hotel and were on our way to Miller Park for tailgating. Lucky for the three of us on the left in this photo, the child on the right is still 20 so we had ourselves a DD all evening.

Tailgating was interesting since we didn’t have a grill, chairs, tables or any actual meal-like food. So we snacked on chips & salsa, chocolate-covered pretzels, veggies & dip and popcorn. Nom Nom. We also played the iPod Game and Ring of Fire – which helped us get nice and drunk before heading into the concert.

Before heading into Miller Park for the concert, A-squared took a quick beer bong to make sure they were sufficiently wasted… They were.

The show was AMAZE-BALLS. It was so good. It was my first time seeing Eric Church, and he did not disappoint. He sang all my faves: Smoke A Little Smoke, Guys Like Me, Creepin’ and Lotta Boot Left to Fill.

I’ve seen Kenny Chesney a few times, and he’s fantastic. He puts on an awesome show – extremely entertaining. I never realize how many great songs he has until I see him in concert and know all the words to every song. He definitely could have performed for an extra hour or two.

So – after this weekend – I am able to say that it is officially SUMMERTIME.

Now go get yourself a drink and find some place nice outside to sit…

Life Beyond Vodka

Vodka is clearly my drink of choice. However – during my recent 10 day drinking bender – I drank out of my comfort zone, enjoying beergaritas, Irish Coffees and a number of different wines. Here are some of my favorite new recipes that – gasp!! – don’t include vodka:

Beergaritas – Since I was too busy binge drinking this weekend to actually write a post leading up to Cinco De Mayo, a post-Cinco De Mayo post highlighting my favorite drink of the evening will have to suffice. To make this delicious concoction you mix:

1 can of Limeade (we found it at Target)
1 can of Sprite Zero
1 can of tequila
1 light beer

Sounds weird, but it’s super delicious. This will definitely be a must-have drink this summer

Irish Coffees – Not a huge fan of drinking coffee black or of whiskey, but the two together make a yummy drink.

Hot Coffee
1 shot of Irish Whiskey
A cube of sugar
Topped with thick whipped cream

I only wish I could drink these coffees every morning…

WINE – I love wine. I’ve gotten a new appreciation for it, although I’m still really cheap, so you have to balance taste with cost. Three of my favorites:

Dancing Bull Red Zinfandel
Yellow Tail Sweet Red
Grgich Cabernet Sauvignon

The Grgich is a little more pricey, but it was really good!

It feels wrong to even talk about another liquor besides vodka on our blog, but what’s your fave non-vodka drink?

Cowboy Slims, RIP

One of our favorite places of all time is now closed. Cue the tears. So it’s about time we honor beloved Cowboy Slims by describing our top 5 favorite things about the sacred place, complete with pictures to illustrate the amazing times we had.

1. Sunday Funday

One of Cowboy Slim’s most redeeming qualities was its patio. The patio made this the perfect place for day drinking, especially on a Sunday when the liquor stores are closed. We had many a Sunday Funday at the bar which in turn, left us with many Sunday Funday memories. Some include going there to drink on Easter, because, why not? Changing outfits with S in the bathroom, because, why not? Handing out my business cards to strangers in an attempt to get more Twitter followers, because, why not?

2. Holidays

No matter what the holiday, you could usually find us at Cowboy Slims at some point in the day. Case and point: Easter (see above). But most holidays we liked to celebrate at Slims were themed. This was because people there didn’t judge you for showing up in a huge Kentucky Derby hat (Cinco de Mayo/Derby Day), gorilla masks with alien and statue of liberty costumes (Halloween), shamrock shorts, glow sticks and temporary tattoos (St. Patrick’s Day). If anything, these crazy costumes made us the most popular people there. Or at least that’s what drunk me likes to remember…

3. Celeb sightings

Okay, so maybe the word celeb is a stretch here – but it never stopped me from stalking one of my favorite basketball players of all time. This is probably my most memorable, and most missed, part about Cowboy Slims. He would often show up, looking as handsome as ever, and I could spend hours (or at least three drinks) creepily staring at him from afar. The best was when he would bring his other bball buddies – the more eye candy the better. Okay, so you can’t see him in this pic, but he was right behind our booth out by the bonfire this night. Trust me.

4. Food

OH MY GOD THE FOOD. Queso dip. Fish tacos. Tots. BRUNCH. Need I say more? The food here was amazing and we will never be able to find a place that has all this greasy deliciousness all day every day. RIP. Sorry, we aren’t those kind of people who take pictures of food, so the one below will have to do. Madam Zora knows all – especially how good the food was.

5. Shots

Whisky shots, tequila shots, multiple rounds of cherry bombs with mom (not to mention her continuously sending K up to the bar with her credit card to keep ’em coming) – shots were a staple for any day or night at Slims. Once again, no one here judged you for taking three different kinds in one night. Or taking a tequila shot at 2 p.m. Or getting bombed with your mom off shots after a 5K, still wearing glow sticks and neon yellow t-shirts. Cowboy Slims was our favorite place to take shots, and now it’s no more.

However, not everything about this place was perfect. There is one thing that stands out from everything else that could ruin a super fun night at Slims in a moment: BITCHES IN THE BATHROOM. God, they were the worst.

Why I Love 25.

I have a lot of friends who have turned 25 and feel super old. Now I did have a minor quarter life crisis – of course – but I love 25. And here’s why…

1. I can be selfish – with my time and with my money. No kids, spouses or in-laws to take care of. Spending $50 at happy hour and stumbling home at midnight on a Wednesday? Why not!

2. I can still go to college bars. Disagree? Fine. I won’t invite you to come out with me. There are plenty of 25-year-old grad students who always go out to college bars so leave me alone to my cheap drinks and kids with fake IDs.

3. I can spend an entire Saturday catching up on TV shows because I don’t have any other commitments that aren’t bail-able.

4. I sleep fairly well. No worries about the kids running around or babies screaming or aches and pains (usually).

5. It sounds mature (spoiler: it’s not that mature). Saying I’m 25 is one of the only things I can do that makes me sound really grown up.

6. There are a lot of really fun blog posts all over the internet about 20-somethings. Gotta love reading about myself. I’m so scared to hit 30. There aren’t any fun blog posts about 30-somethings…

7. It may not be ok to get crazy, embarrassingly drunk, but, when you do, you can hide really easily. You don’t have a ton of roommates or live in the dorms AND you don’t have a spouse and kids running around to take care of all day. You can just turn off all the lights and watch TV while trying to forget you acted like a 21-year-old the previous night.

8. You don’t have kids yet – blah. scary. gross – but 25 is old enough to have at least one friend with a baby for you to play with.

9. Friends are getting married = Bachelorette parties are awesome.

10. It’s still – kind of – socially acceptable for your parents to buy you groceries when they visit you. But only if they offer…

Things You Should Be Too Old For In Your Mid 20s

Even though this list is true, it sure as hell doesn’t stop us from committing these mid-20s sins. Someday we will grow up. Or at least I keep telling myself that…

Things you should be too old for in your mid-20s:

1. College parties. Going back to campus for Spring Jam, Homecoming and random frat parties is no longer okay.
2. Eating foods like smiley fries, Spaghettios and dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets.
3. Taking pictures with bottles of booze. Or pictures of you and your friends taking shots.
4. Wearing clothes you’ve had since high school.
5. Pulling an all-nighter during the week for any reason.
6. Wasted Wednesdays.
7. Having a weird obsession with teeny bopper celebs like Justin Bieber, Demi Lovato and the entire cast of Pretty Little Liars.
8. Crying at the bar.
9. Going to work hungover or – even worse – still drunk from a casual weekday happy hour.
10. Having mom schedule your doctor/dentist/eye appointments.
11. Day drinking just because you have no other weekend plans (it is ok to day drink for sporting events, holidays or beach days).
12. Wearing temporary tattoos on a casual basis.
13. Drinking boxed wine or wine coolers. Let’s be honest, I know both 15 and 50-year-olds who drink these.
14. Visiting the dentist once every three years.
15. Puking on the side of the road on the way home from the bar at midnight, and losing your phone in the phone in the process.
16. Smoking because it looks cool.
17. Drunk dials.
18. Leaving the house with wet hair.
19. Plastic and/or mismatched dishes, glassware, flatware, etc.
20. Dying your hair an unnatural color (i.e. hot pink).
21. Blackouts. Seriously, you should be able to control your drinking by now…

Happy Weekend!

Be Safe. Make Good Choices.

ACMs Drinking Game

The ACM Awards are this Sunday evening at 7:00 p.m. Nothing goes as well together as drinking and country music, so get your booze ready, put on those cowboy boots and play this game on Sunday night.

…Also be prepared to call in sick on Monday morning…

If you’re skeptical about spending an evening watching country, take a look at the hosts – the manly, hot hot hot Blake Shelton and sexy, sexy Luke Bryan.

Now that I’ve given you a good enough reason to watch the action, here are the rules…

Drink every time:

Blake Shelton talks about The Voice

Blake/Luke take a dig at Carrie Underwood/Brad Paisley

Someone says y’all

Someone talks about drinking

A winner thanks God

Luke/Blake make fun of someone in the audience

Someone performs in a cowboy hat

There’s a great view of Luke Bryan’s ass

It’s obvious that someone is giving a speech drunk

The camera pans to an unimpressed T. Swizzle

Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert look adorable together

Hunter Hayes reminds you of a country Justin Bieber

If you’ve never heard one of the songs being performed

Hard Liquor Rules:

If Miranda Lambert wins anything, take a shot of whiskey

If Eric Church wins anything, take a jag bomb

If Taylor Swift wins anything, chug a soda

If Blake Shelton wins anything, take shots until you’re bombed and then start Tweeting your thoughts about life

If Carrie Underwood wins anything, play slap the bag with a bag of wine

Finish your drink:

When you see someone with a drink in his/her hands

Just for fun, my predictions are Miranda Lambert for Female Vocalist of the Year, Blake Shelton for Male Vocalist of the Year and Taylor Swift (should be Luke Bryan…) for Entertainer of the Year.

What do you think? Not that it matters since you’ll most likely be blacked out by the time these awards start…

Stupid S#*t You Do When You Drink All Weekend

You order shots at happy hour (and then drunkenly blog about it)

You make Subway employees hate their job, and you

You play Buck Hunter. A lot.

You perform a taste-test between the Nacho Cheese and Cooler Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos

You call everyone and their mother in your phone until one finally answers

You force temporary tattoos on people’s faces at the bar

You take several Irish Car Bombs

You Instagram. A lot.

You play 4-player games of darts with one other person

You set up personal training sessions

You attempt to make meringue cookies at 1 a.m. and fail terribly

You show up to a 10 a.m. coffee meeting still drunk with face tattoos

You dance. A lot.

You have heart-to-hearts with anyone who will listen

You take over $100 out of your bank account at the bar ATM and have no idea what you spent it on

You cry at the bar for no reason

You ruin your “diet” by eating hungover food like french fries, onion rings, burgers and chicken tenders

You offer to pay a $60 cab fare because all you want to do is be in bed after drinking for 12 hours straight

You wake up, feel hungover but power through and keep drinking

“The iPod Game”

I love drinking games. Well I love games in general, so turning non-drinking games into drinking games is a favorite past time of mine.

If you’re looking for a chill night out, don’t play this game. It’s been known to cause people to pass out, pants-less, before 10 p.m. (you’re welcome, you-know-who).

iPod Game Rules

Turn your iPod on shuffle. This works best with an iPod full of random music – lots of different genres.

Once your iPod is ready, the first person makes a rule. Here are some examples:

If the next song is sang by a girl, all the girls take a drink
If the next song is country music, everyone who likes country has to take a drink
If you know all the words to the next song, give out a drink
If you danced to the next song at a high school dance, take a drink
If the next song has a word in a foreign language in the title, everyone who has been out of the country, take a drink
If you’ve seen the next band live, take a drink

Now, these are all fun and great, but when you drink a little too much, you start making rules like this:

If the next song has words, [Call-Out Individual Friend] takes a shot
If the next band has ever sang live, everyone takes shots

As you can see, this game will start a drunk fast. I warn you – if you want all your friends to make it out, don’t play this game. However, if you’re looking for a fun, drunk time, play on!

If you’re competitive and need to know who’s the winner, play this game. It’ll be fairly obvious at the end who is the winner and who loses.

*Also works with iTunes on a computer if you trust your computer around your drunk friends.